Disabilty and inclusion

Don’t be afraid of change!

Sorry it’s been a while since my last post!

This post is quite a ‘humble pie’ post for me to write! When you are disabled there is a sense of uncertainty and sometimes anxiety about everyday life. For example are people going to be there to get you up in the morning? Are carers going to show up? The everyday stuff that able bodied people take for granted!

When I get settled for instance I don’t like change, I have missed so many things because I get scared of the uncertainty of the future. I have even lost people extremely important to me because of fear! If I had one more chance at happiness and to do all the things I regret not doing then I would take it! For instance I would not care what people thought and be with the person I love! I would face all the meetings all the stress because the outcome would be amazing! I would tell everyone that didn’t like it that I was doing it anyway because being happy and loved is more important than anything! When you find someone special hold them very close because one day they may not be there anymore. If I had one more chance with someone I would never let them go and fight for a ‘brightside future’ once again whatever it took!

The point of this post is to encourage you to say yes to everything no matter what the fear is because I assure you it will be worth it in the end if you just believe in yourself and the people that love you!

Don’t waste another second being fearful and just embrace what could be the best thing you have ever done!

Remember love, happiness and joy conquers all!

Next post will be in 2019!

Merry Christmas and a happy new year!

Disabilty and inclusion

Taking a little break!

Hi this isn’t a post as such I’m just writing to say I’m taking a little break from writing regular posts! I am going though some personal things in my life that I need to concentrate on and I need some time to work things through before I turn my stories into some positive information for all the wonderful people that take the time out to read my blogs. I want to continue to inspire and reassure people as I would like to believe that is one of the reasons I am disabled is so that I can help other people! I just feel I need to take a few weeks to recharge and live life so I have more tales to tell you all! Remember it’s ok to take some time out to recharge and to evaluate it is not failing!

Thanks again for reading my blog even though I’m not actively writing please get in touch with me if there is an area of disability you would like me to cover in the future as I am writing from perspective of living with a disability in order to help other people that might be going through a similar experience!

Next blog post will be published no later then the 9th December!


Disabilty and inclusion

Parents are Hero’s!

For this post let’s take some time to talk about parents, in paticular, parents who have a child with a disability. I did some research and shockingly discovered that 41% of parents with children aged 0-5 in the UK are not helped with their child’s diagnosis (Scope charity). Disabled charities like scope are trying their best to change this through petitions, social media and helping professionals. Hopefully with the help of organisations like Scope as well as some really great others, the future for parents new to the world of disability will get the help, support and reassurance that is so desperately needed.

I can not begin to imagine the heartache a parent first feels when told that their child has a disability; Whether that be a physical or “invisible” one. We know (or should be mindful) not every disability is visible or as obvious as mine (I’m in a wheelchair all day everyday apart from when I am asleep , but have been known in the past to fall asleep in my wheelchair; Thats a tale for another post). Knowing that your child is having to do things slightly different for the rest of their lives must be one of the scariest, confusing piece of news a parent could ever get!

It’s ok to greive for the child you thought you were going to have, or for fathers. It’s ok to be frightened about what the future holds. Do not allow yourself to feel guilty because you wondered why that happened to your baby. I have no doubt most, if not all parents will have gone through the exact same thing, you’re not alone in that. However, look at it as a new slightly different bright adventure. Will it be hard at times? will it feel like your hitting your head against a brick wall sometimes? Of course it will, but that’s what being a parent is right? Even without a child with additional needs! You are what will shape your child and will be the inspiration behind your child’s success later on in life. My parents have brought me up as able bodied as possible, despite my limitations and it’s because of what they have taught me and their never ending support that I continue to prove every able bodied person wrong that say that disabled people can’t achieve the goals because we can, and we continue to do so at every opportunity. I know my parents will of gone through all the why’s, but they never let me see that , they love me for me regardless of my disability and they are proud of what I have overcome. I can hear my mum saying “remember to say if anyone asks, we are a normal family” and she doesn’t mean my disability! She cracks me up!

I guess my point is being a parent is hard work with or without a child with additional needs, you choose to become a parent and I assure you it will be the best decision you have made. Remember to talk your thoughts and feelings through, you are not alone. There is lots of support available. Charities such as Scope, they are there to give help and advice to anyone that requires or needs it. There is also a website called Feedspot, there is a disability section with lots of information (link below).


Keep going parents, you’re doing an absolutely amazing job

Thank you.

Disabilty and inclusion

Halloween doesn’t mean a free pass to discriminate!

This is not a regular post it’s just a quick note to say even though it is Halloween today and it’s about trick or treating. Just remember your Halloween costume, fun and antics doesn’t need to offend anyone or come at the expensive of a disabled person. Disabled people are just ordinary people just like anyone else! Enjoy Halloween and bonfire night but stay safe and remember to include everyone and experience the next few days with a loving and kind heart!

New post coming soon!

Brightsidebecs x

Disabilty and inclusion

The Dreaded D word!

My title might be curious to some people, but the dreaded “D” word in this case is indeed Diet! I can sense readers thinking not another blog posts about diets, there is thousands, I agree. But for a disabled person keeping a healthy weight, particularly for people in a wheelchair can be extremely difficult. From my own experiences I can eat unhealthy for two days and feel like I’m already putting weight on. Nightmare! Being disabled can mean you are less active due to having to ‘sit on your arse all day’ as everyone knows the less active you are the slower it takes to burn calories. It’s not rocket science to see the common sense but never the less that sense leaves me when chocolate appears.

Disabled people can and do have physio but not every session is about fat burning. It is more about keeping the muscles as exersized as possible and in some cases the purpose is to teach you how to walk for the first time or to walk again. Some disabled people are very active but you need the resources and sometimes financial support in order to take part in physical therapy or activities, and not every disabled person has this. Being disabled can be very expensive (I’ll go more in detail about this in future posts). Having a disability means that you automatically have to be more health conscious not just to do with weight but the health conditions that we face as individuals, as well as being disabled. For example, asthma, which I am sure added weight as well as little exercise can have a profound effect. I used to love swimming as it gave me full body workout and gave me the ability to “float” weightlessly which was amazing. However some leisure centres have made it hard for me as a disabled person to access the swimming pool because of thier not so disabled pool chairs! Although, don’t let this be a deterrent, there will be plenty of swimming pools across the country and  the world with fabulous resources, I would highly recommend, if possible to give it a go. It’s extremely beneficial. Hydrotherapy is a type of swimming which is very good for disabled people but once again, it does come at a cost. Dieting and keeping healthy can be extremely hard and feel sometimes impossible when you are disabled but keep in mind as long as you eat a good balanced diet you will be feel the benefits. Most importantly love yourself no matter your weight or appearance!


It’s ok to feel blue sometimes!

Being disabled can sometimes be a mixture of feelings and emotions that for some people can change everyday. Society has a big part to play in this in terms of what I have spoken about in previous blogs, stereotyping and disabled access not being as advertised.

I know from personal experience that most of the time my ‘blue’ days come more in the winter due to the snow not allowing me to get on with my everyday life.

Wheels and snow are not friends!

Sometimes people get anxious about leaving the house because they feel like they are going to be stared at or due to their wheelchair or limitations, this is not ok! Society needs to make people feel welcome and teach people that disabled people are no different to able bodied people.

This is one of my purposes for writing my blog in the first place to tell everyone what it really feels like to be disabled! Society is improving and it is a lot better than it used to be however a lot still needs to be done in order to make it more equal. Sometimes people feel blue because they feel like they are failing as they feel it is a constant battle to be seen as everyone else, even though they are in a wheelchair well let me tell you the issues are within themselves not you.

Also feeling down is not failing!!

Sometimes, I myself have felt this way over the years and I have learnt from bitter experiences that sometimes you have to feel these emotions in order to overcome discrimination etc and it makes you stronger as a person! The most important thing to do when you are down or anxious is talk to someone may be a family member or a friend you are not alone and you are certainly not going to get judged! Talking is one of the most powerful tools we have to make change happen! If you are a parent reading this and thinking I don’t want my child to go through this let me tell you it will be ok and that society has vastly improved and it is changing everyday.

My point is, that it is ok to have days where you think why am I disabled or why did that accident happen to me, you wouldn’t be human if you didn’t. Its about making sure that you don’t let limitations stop you in anything you want to do, as anything is possible you just have to rely on a blogger like me who myself lives with a disability to show you that the possibilities are endless even with a disability!

In a future post I will go into what it is like to have a mental illness and a disability and how with strength and perseverance like everything else it can be over come! I know it’s not just disabled people that get down and anxious I know every person on earth has felt it at some point in their lives what ever the issue or reason just know that support is available and with the the right guidance and support there is nothing that can’t be helped or overcome !

Like I said at the beginning it’s ok to be blue sometimes it’s only human nature!

Disabilty and inclusion

Let’s look at the Brightside!

I know my last few blogs have been a bit negative when I promised that I would show having a disability isn’t a restriction in life. I assure you, it is not. The main reason why I wanted to do a blog was to highlight issues that need to get people talking in order to create change. I think it’s important to raise awareness of the challenges but also the successes of living in modern society for people with disabilities. All the issue and barriers talked about in my previous blogs can be overcome, no doubt! I have overcome so many as will you, your family and friends.

Let me tell you a bit about myself and some of the challenges I have faced, not only faced but overcome with great satisfaction and pleasure.  I’m a wheelchair user and have been for most of my childhood and all through my adult years (so far). I attended mainstream schools and for people that don’t know, mainstream schools are predominantly able-bodied kids! But you know what, they adapted certain areas of the school for my needs and I had some of the best years and friends from them years. I have done most things that children do. Granted I didn’t run around playing football or sports as such, but my friends and school peers made sure I was included. I have a bachelor’s degree which I worked very hard for, but bloody succeeded!  I have been to music festivals, Leeds fest included, mud in wheels to prove it. I have seen most bands and artists. Ive traveled to some amazing parts of America, Florida and New York (twice). I had the great pleasure in participating in the fundraising colour run (a must do). During the run my wheel came off my manual wheelchair and my crazy friends and I continued with the run (paint in my pants to prove it) Don’t be surprised by my adventures and accomplishments because I know so many people with varied disabilities that have accomplished just as much! It’s about persistence and getting the job done, whatever the cost. The feeling of accomplishment is worth it’s weight in gold! If you think that is mad, it gets crazier guys! I’ve done an indoor skydive and one of my next goals is to do an actual skydive (it’s on the cards guys).

My point is to show you that even the impossible is possible all it takes is persistence and faith, no matter what life throws at you. Anything you desire is achievable, doesn’t matter how you get there or how long, it’s do-able. I myself have obstacles to overcome which I will share as they arise but I really mean this, anything can be overcome with the right information and direction. You will get out of the spaghetti junction of not knowing what and which way to turn, I promise.