As I have mentioned in my previous blogs, people are quick to stereotype, one of the major stereotypes that’s so absurd in my view, is that people with disabilities can’t have what’s considered as a ‘Normal love life’and that we can’t have a family of our own! Of course this is completely incorrect. Disabled people are exactly the same as any other human being on earth! We have the same desires and dreams. From my personal experience being in love is one of the best feelings in the world, being in love with someone who is also your best friend is incredible! Which I proudly can say has happened to me!
Being in a disabled relationship is not much different to the average ‘able bodied’ relationship in terms of dating and all the ups and downs that dating entails , for example finding time for each other with very busy schedules, and of course the arguments! Right? One of the major challenging factors or difference if you want to do what I hate and compare! Is that when your in a ‘disabled relationship’ people don’t take you as seriously as people that are in ‘ordinary ‘ relationship, which in my personal opinion is just closed mindfulness as it does not matter if you are in a wheelchair or not love is love no matter what the circumstances or what is considered ‘normal’ within society. There is no such thing as Normal! Another issue that can be a problem when you are in a disabled relationship is that people tend to have an opinion more often on your relationship as you don’t have much privacy due to the extra support that is sometimes required, so for instance an argument is sometimes over heard and as a couple you may of forgiven each other but for other people their opinions have accidentally formed and that is sometimes hard to change, this can of course cause conflict in any relationship but can be made worse when you are disabled! Everything just needs more planning and discussions when deciding to progress the future of the relationship in terms of living together and family planning etc. I assure you it is all worth it! All that is required is the relevant support, care plans/ packages are up to date and that the correct provisions are put in place so that you can continue living the life you want to live! Nothing is impossible! If I had the chance with a very special someone once more, I would love nothing more then to break down the barriers that got in our way which can of course be done and have an incredible future together! Anyone in love or has been in love in the past will know there is absolutely nothing you wouldn’t do to be with the person you love! Unfortunately however I didn’t act on my own advice and things didn’t go the way we both intended!
The rules do not change just because you are disabled! There is no guide book to love, every relationship whether you are disabled or not is hard at times and no relationship is the same!
Just follow your heart, take that leap of faith because it’s better to have a go then be scared of something that might be the best thing you have ever done, like I said love is love whatever the circumstances or conditions!
Hi Readers, hope you are all well.
Sorry it’s been a few weeks since my last post, I have been doing a lot of thinking about what my next post should be and I think this is a good way to start.
As a disabled person, I know from experience that sometimes I doubt myself and my own abilities, just like everybody else; it’s human nature, right? I feel being disabled, society can sometimes make us feel inadequate and although it is getting better and I’m sure it will continue to do so I still feel disabled facilities are sometimes designed with lack of thought or common sense! It feels as though they design to the minimal they can in order to meet laws, such as the Equality Act 2010, previously known as Disability Discrimination Act 1995 (The Equality Act has also replaced other legislations such as the Race Relations 1976 so that it is one legislation).
Carrying on with sociatle flaws, businesses in particular have the ability to make disabled people feel that it is easy to believe and follow information, including information for “online services” which may make disabled people feel that it’s the only way to be “normal”. The internet can sometimes suck us in to believing they can make our insecurities go away with one click of a button! It is certainly not the case, disabled and able people do not need to go to such lengths to feel fulfilled and content with themselves.
From personal experience, I have loved, gave love and felt affection just like most able bodied people and it’s the most amazing thing in the world! Always remember just because you are disabled doesn’t mean you are not like everyone else, because you are! Sadly there are no quick fixes to anything but you can and will achieve everything you want to!
Always seek professional advice before buying anything online that could be a danger to your life!
I must stress that this is my own personal opinion and views. I am here to show that disabled people are just like any other human, limitations or not! Of course its peoples right to do what ever they choose to do if of course they are legal age. Just be safe!
Since it is the first day of the year I thought I would write a beginning post!
Firstly I would like to thank everyone who takes the time to read my blog and for your continuing support since late September (2018) whatever your reason for reading or if you are simply just having a quick peak, I appreciate it greatly! I hope you keep on enjoying reading my posts through (2019) and beyond! I would also like to say hello and welcome to any new readers that my join me throughout the year, we are all in this together you are not alone! Not to mention the obligatory Happy New Year to everyone!
I don’t really believe in new year resolutions, personally I think as soon as you say you have one you are doomed to failure within the first few days. One way that helps me to stay on track however is to write down things that I would like to achieve within in the year, a goals and targets list if I was to give it a title. It gives me more focus and satisfaction when I see my hand work paying of when I have crossed one off. For example one of my personal goes is to loose some well needed weight! As I am aware this is a very common goal in January! As I have learn’t from personal expierence once you “fall of the wagon” I fail because I say “oh another day won’t make any difference” and that never ending cycle continues. My point is if you haven’t achieved all your goals for the current year by New Years Eve it is ok! Everyday that we are lucky enough to see is a new start. I know it’s a little premature of me to talk about the end of the year when a new year has just begun! It is however good to keep a thought like that in mind as it might give you the strength and courage to get through any hard times. if you don’t think you can achieve something straight away keep going and don’t give up because you can and you will!! It may not happen today or tomorrow but it will everything we do gets us on the path to a happy brighter future! (Even if we don’t realise at the time!) As I keep saying within my blog posts and will be forever one of the messages within them is everything is “possible” you just have to keep going and stay strong and most importantly believe in yourself!!
Being disabled can be very challenging and scary at times, I am sure it’s a never ending fear of uncertainty for family members but I assure you everything will be overcome! I will be here throughout the year sharing my experiences and challenges to hopefully reassure everyone that is going through similar issues that there are processes and procedures that can be done to ensure a wonderful life for me and other disabled people and of course their supportive family and friends!
Make 2019 a year where you can say “I succeed” or at the very least look on the “brightside”and say I tried but I will get there in he end” Life can change in an instant so make every second and everyday count! Even if one day is just getting out of bed when life is being extra tough that day! It is ok!!! It is all leading you on a path to happiness and fulfilment!
Enjoy the first day of the year whatever your plans are, remember that you are never alone! I’m wishing everyone the best for what ever lies ahead for us all. I hope the readers that read this even if you are just reading it out of curiosity, have the best year and that it’s full of happiness, love and good health! I have hope that even when life ‘throws a spanner in the works’ that all of you have the love, support and strength to come back even stronger than before!
2019 is going to be a very instresting year in so many ways I’m sure that I don’t have to go into details on this but together we can do it!
Hello 2019 we are all ready for you!
Sorry it’s been a while since my last post!
This post is quite a ‘humble pie’ post for me to write! When you are disabled there is a sense of uncertainty and sometimes anxiety about everyday life. For example are people going to be there to get you up in the morning? Are carers going to show up? The everyday stuff that able bodied people take for granted!
When I get settled for instance I don’t like change, I have missed so many things because I get scared of the uncertainty of the future. I have even lost people extremely important to me because of fear! If I had one more chance at happiness and to do all the things I regret not doing then I would take it! For instance I would not care what people thought and be with the person I love! I would face all the meetings all the stress because the outcome would be amazing! I would tell everyone that didn’t like it that I was doing it anyway because being happy and loved is more important than anything! When you find someone special hold them very close because one day they may not be there anymore. If I had one more chance with someone I would never let them go and fight for a ‘brightside future’ once again whatever it took!
The point of this post is to encourage you to say yes to everything no matter what the fear is because I assure you it will be worth it in the end if you just believe in yourself and the people that love you!
Don’t waste another second being fearful and just embrace what could be the best thing you have ever done!
Remember love, happiness and joy conquers all!
Next post will be in 2019!
Merry Christmas and a happy new year!
Hi this isn’t a post as such I’m just writing to say I’m taking a little break from writing regular posts! I am going though some personal things in my life that I need to concentrate on and I need some time to work things through before I turn my stories into some positive information for all the wonderful people that take the time out to read my blogs. I want to continue to inspire and reassure people as I would like to believe that is one of the reasons I am disabled is so that I can help other people! I just feel I need to take a few weeks to recharge and live life so I have more tales to tell you all! Remember it’s ok to take some time out to recharge and to evaluate it is not failing!
Thanks again for reading my blog even though I’m not actively writing please get in touch with me if there is an area of disability you would like me to cover in the future as I am writing from perspective of living with a disability in order to help other people that might be going through a similar experience!
Next blog post will be published no later then the 9th December!
For this post let’s take some time to talk about parents, in paticular, parents who have a child with a disability. I did some research and shockingly discovered that 41% of parents with children aged 0-5 in the UK are not helped with their child’s diagnosis (Scope charity). Disabled charities like scope are trying their best to change this through petitions, social media and helping professionals. Hopefully with the help of organisations like Scope as well as some really great others, the future for parents new to the world of disability will get the help, support and reassurance that is so desperately needed.
I can not begin to imagine the heartache a parent first feels when told that their child has a disability; Whether that be a physical or “invisible” one. We know (or should be mindful) not every disability is visible or as obvious as mine (I’m in a wheelchair all day everyday apart from when I am asleep , but have been known in the past to fall asleep in my wheelchair; Thats a tale for another post). Knowing that your child is having to do things slightly different for the rest of their lives must be one of the scariest, confusing piece of news a parent could ever get!
It’s ok to greive for the child you thought you were going to have, or for fathers. It’s ok to be frightened about what the future holds. Do not allow yourself to feel guilty because you wondered why that happened to your baby. I have no doubt most, if not all parents will have gone through the exact same thing, you’re not alone in that. However, look at it as a new slightly different bright adventure. Will it be hard at times? will it feel like your hitting your head against a brick wall sometimes? Of course it will, but that’s what being a parent is right? Even without a child with additional needs! You are what will shape your child and will be the inspiration behind your child’s success later on in life. My parents have brought me up as able bodied as possible, despite my limitations and it’s because of what they have taught me and their never ending support that I continue to prove every able bodied person wrong that say that disabled people can’t achieve the goals because we can, and we continue to do so at every opportunity. I know my parents will of gone through all the why’s, but they never let me see that , they love me for me regardless of my disability and they are proud of what I have overcome. I can hear my mum saying “remember to say if anyone asks, we are a normal family” and she doesn’t mean my disability! She cracks me up!
I guess my point is being a parent is hard work with or without a child with additional needs, you choose to become a parent and I assure you it will be the best decision you have made. Remember to talk your thoughts and feelings through, you are not alone. There is lots of support available. Charities such as Scope, they are there to give help and advice to anyone that requires or needs it. There is also a website called Feedspot, there is a disability section with lots of information (link below).
Keep going parents, you’re doing an absolutely amazing job
This is not a regular post it’s just a quick note to say even though it is Halloween today and it’s about trick or treating. Just remember your Halloween costume, fun and antics doesn’t need to offend anyone or come at the expensive of a disabled person. Disabled people are just ordinary people just like anyone else! Enjoy Halloween and bonfire night but stay safe and remember to include everyone and experience the next few days with a loving and kind heart!
New post coming soon!