I often think to myself if people really knew what was going on in a disabled persons head, would we get treated better?
Let’s find out the answer to the question by me been fully open about my thoughts and feelings about being disabled. I must state before I begin this account of being disabled, it is important to note these are my own views and opinions. They are my own personal feelings and experiences. I am defiantly not speaking for all disabled people and saying we all feel like this because I am not! I’m sure there might be similarities but everyone is unique and experience things differently!
Now I have that out the way here goes some of the things I have never said out loud to anyone!
How does it feel to be disabled? Well if people were giving it away for free I wouldn’t be queuing up to get it that’s for sure! I can’t really remember struggling with it when I was younger as I was born with my disability, Cerebral Palsy. My parents say I did struggle and get upset about it but as a child I think I must of known that I was different because of my wheelchair but not understanding why. I asked my parents questions like “why can’t I run around like the other kids? I never missed out on anything, my parents made sure of that! I had a very ‘normal’ childhood. It’s when I became a teenager and into adulthood that I fully realised what the word ‘disabled’ really meant. As a disabled person a lot of the time I feel like I’m in competition with society, if society says I cant then I show them I can.
To get a better understanding of what it physically feels like to be disabled I am going to tell you something someone once said to me, (again its not any proven statistics or reaseach its just information that I got told so that I’d understand my disability better) someone who had a disability requires their brain and body to work three times as hard to do simple tasks then the average able bodied person!
People really don’t realise how lucky they are to be able to just do a simple thing like walking up a step or being able to make yourself a sandwich without a risk assessments being carried out first. I will go into the joys of them beauties in a later post.
I often feel very frustrated that people seem to class me because of my wheelchair as a second class citizen, I often don’t feel valued as a person because I spend most of my day feeling invisible as people are stepping over me or falling over me as they are so wrapped up in their own lives to notice.
Due to my disability I have to rely on other people constantly to help me do everyday tasks. I have wonderful people to help me with this but sometimes I just would love to be able to do it all myself as in my head I feel able bodied and my body is disabled so you can imagine the conversations I have in my head with myself right? I often feel attached to an old lady’s body as it feels like my body doesn’t want to do what my head is saying. I hate relying on people when in my head I’m quite capable of doing everything myself.
Being disabled is just a series of battles between yourself and parents the government professionals and society and its exhausting.
Simple day trips and holidays take sometimes months to plan because all the provisions that need to be put in place to make sure your needs are met.
It also angers me that disabled people also seem an afterthought or the last on the list of priorities when new buildings are been built. We are just as important as everyone else.
Being disabled means I always feel like I am always putting each other’s feelings before my own and I just wish I could scream and say it’s my life not yours, I’m doing this. If I had the chance to redo certain things it would be my choices and I’ll be really happy.
This post will continue at a later date as I could go on and on about my feelings.
Would I change being disabled If I had the opportunity? Yes, in a heartbeat however, being disabled isn’t all bad and I have a wonderful life!
Remember being disabled doesn’t stop you from doing anything and nothing is impossible. Also look on the Brightside!