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It’s ok to feel blue sometimes!

Being disabled can sometimes be a mixture of feelings and emotions that for some people can change everyday. Society has a big part to play in this in terms of what I have spoken about in previous blogs, stereotyping and disabled access not being as advertised.

I know from personal experience that most of the time my ‘blue’ days come more in the winter due to the snow not allowing me to get on with my everyday life.

Wheels and snow are not friends!

Sometimes people get anxious about leaving the house because they feel like they are going to be stared at or due to their wheelchair or limitations, this is not ok! Society needs to make people feel welcome and teach people that disabled people are no different to able bodied people.

This is one of my purposes for writing my blog in the first place to tell everyone what it really feels like to be disabled! Society is improving and it is a lot better than it used to be however a lot still needs to be done in order to make it more equal. Sometimes people feel blue because they feel like they are failing as they feel it is a constant battle to be seen as everyone else, even though they are in a wheelchair well let me tell you the issues are within themselves not you.

Also feeling down is not failing!!

Sometimes, I myself have felt this way over the years and I have learnt from bitter experiences that sometimes you have to feel these emotions in order to overcome discrimination etc and it makes you stronger as a person! The most important thing to do when you are down or anxious is talk to someone may be a family member or a friend you are not alone and you are certainly not going to get judged! Talking is one of the most powerful tools we have to make change happen! If you are a parent reading this and thinking I don’t want my child to go through this let me tell you it will be ok and that society has vastly improved and it is changing everyday.

My point is, that it is ok to have days where you think why am I disabled or why did that accident happen to me, you wouldn’t be human if you didn’t. Its about making sure that you don’t let limitations stop you in anything you want to do, as anything is possible you just have to rely on a blogger like me who myself lives with a disability to show you that the possibilities are endless even with a disability!

In a future post I will go into what it is like to have a mental illness and a disability and how with strength and perseverance like everything else it can be over come! I know it’s not just disabled people that get down and anxious I know every person on earth has felt it at some point in their lives what ever the issue or reason just know that support is available and with the the right guidance and support there is nothing that can’t be helped or overcome !

Like I said at the beginning it’s ok to be blue sometimes it’s only human nature!

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Say no to the stereotyper!

One of my personal bug bears as a disabled person is being automatically put in a “stereotype box”. What I mean is, as soon as somebody meets me for the first time (at least 80% of people) they unknowingly fall into their own stereotype. The bending down talking to you real slow is a good one.  “Aaarrre- youuu- oookkkk” I hear, with my completely functioning face. My personal favourite is the high volumed vocals as they assume you’re deaf! I just laugh to myself thinking, who are you taking to? It’s a toss up between a toddler and my 90 year old neighbour! There literally is no inbetween. Hey, I gotta get my kicks from somewhere, right?

My point is, when a person hears the word “disabled” they think of all the negative connnotations, which might seem trivial to some but it’s important to show the word “disability” in the correct light! Questions wondered tend to be “can they drink alcohol?” “Can they have relationships?” “Will they be able to participate like everybody else?” These are just a few; I could go on all day but then I’d loose readers through boredom because there are so many!

To reassure parents and other readers, I’ll answer the questions. Yes disabled people can drink alcohol (if they are of legal age whether it be 18 or 21) so long as they have full mental capacity to know what they are doing and not on any prescribed medications that don’t permit alcohol. I always say, even though I am disabled I have the same organs and most likely will eventually die just the same as everybody else! Shocker, I know.

Yes disabled people can have relationships and children just like able bodied people. We just require additional support. By this I mean I would need someone to get up and do night feeds (when I’m a parent) every night, that’s all. I’m just kidding- Possibly. We just need support in place so we can live the exact life as an able bodied person.

Another stereotype is if you have a disability, your full brain activity is not that of an able bodied person *cough cough* bachelors degree *cough cough*.  People have a tendency to talk to my careers instead of me because they think I can’t hold a conversation. Disabled people,  me included have the same level of intelligence as the next person! We are underestimated. I say that people with disabilities are intelligent not just by academia but by common sense and are very driven to prove every stereotype and society wrong!

Whatever time a disability enters your world,  whether it be as a child or through an event or situation later in life, just ignore the stereotypes and say, SOD you! For everyone that says you can’t, you tell them “yes I can and yes I will”. Do it bigger,  better! If you are a parent of a disabled child, my best suggestion would be do what my parents did and bring them up as able bodied as possible, meaning obviously make adaptations wherever is required but in their behaviour and personality. Bring them up as you originally planned when you thought they were going to be able bodied so that they will grow up as I have.  Let’s prove these stereotype wrong and achieve everything we want and more!

Here is the start of the light at the end of that never ending tunnel!

The concept and idea behind this blog might have curious parents or caregivers thinking, how the hell would a random blogger without children even begin to understand the constant and sometimes (I’m sure) lonely worries of being a parent, let alone a parent with a child who has additional needs? Well, I don’t blame you! As someone that questions everything, I would question me too! But I assure you, this is not my intention with this blog. Yes I’m not a parent (particularly a parent with a child/children with a disability), however I did used to be that child. A child that had additional needs and through the years myself and my family had to adapt to everything that comes with having a disability.

I’m here purposely to show that no matter how many meetings, obstacles or challenges there are, a disability does not mean that life is going to be unfulfilled and that a child will not carry out their dreams and hopes successfully for their future. I am living proof that goals and desires most certainly can be achieved. We are not doomed to a life sentence that some narrow minded people in society think. No! A disabled person can do everything and anything that an able bodied person can do, all that is needed is guidance and a push in the right direction. This is where I come in; I will share some of my personal experiences and give information that my family and I wish we would of had access to when I was growing up. Not just a couple of leaflets handed to you, or “try reading up some information” but real life experience, real life assurance! Does not matter your status or situation, whether you are a new parent or a parent that has just been given what seems like earth shattering news that a “disability” has entered your world. You might have recently become disabled through a life changing event or incident. You might just be bored and accidentally come across my blog and decide to have a nosey at yet another “how to be a successful person in life” blog. Whatever your reason for coming, just know that even though in this moment, it might not seem it but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and excuse the pun but there is a always a “bright side to everything and I am here to help you see it!

Bye for now…